NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the Parish. A leading Senator and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner.

He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had and affair with his boss's wife; taken illegal drugs.
 
I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.".....
 
Just as the priest finished his talk, the republican senator arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession." 
  
  
Moral:  NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE!

A simple but interesting story.................really nice !!

A simple story

>>A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
>>She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
>>
>>The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.'
>>
>>The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
>>
>>Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'
>>
>>The woman said, 'That's okay.'
>>
>>For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
>>
>>The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.
>>
>>The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.'
>>
>>So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
>>
>>For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
>>
>>The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.'
>>
>>The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'
>>
>>So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
>>
>>The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'
>>
>>
>>Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
>>
>>
>>Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
>>
>>Male readers : Please scroll down.
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>>The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife
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>>Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
>>
>>
>>Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
>>
>>
>>PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
>>
>>
>>Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor.