Do you kno what will happen when all the black money is restored back to government ??

Do you know what will happen if 1,456 Lac Crores comes back???
1. India will be financialy No.1 country in the world

2. Each district in the country will get about 60000 crores & every village will get 100 Crores
3. No need to pay any kind of taxes for the next 20 yrs.

4. Petrol price would be around 25 Rs, Diesel price would be around 15 Rs, Milk price would be around 8 Rs.

5. No need to pay electricity bill.

6. Indian borders will become more stronger than the great wall of China.

7. 1500 universities similar to Oxford University can be opened.

8. 28,000 kms of Rubber road, like in Paris, can be made.

9. 2,000 hospitals with all facilities and with all medicines will be free of cost.

10. Around 95 crore people will have their own house.

Explain this

This year we experienced and are going to experience four unusual dates : 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11;that's not all ... take the last two digits of the year in which you were born; now add the age you will be this year, and the result will be 111 for everyone!  
For example - Harry was born in 1957, and 57 + 54 = 111

This is the year of Money!!!

This year October will have 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays and 5 Saturdays. 
This happens only every 823 years. 

The Mischievous Brothers

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,"Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time.

("I just LOVE reading next line ")

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GOD is missing, and they think we did it! 

Stupid Questions and Smart Answers....

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Wilson says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter? 

PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

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BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

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GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

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GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

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GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

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BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

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BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

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WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

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1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

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2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

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3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

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4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

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5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.

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6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

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7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've
failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
performance repeated".

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8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

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9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

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10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".

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11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at the same time."

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12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

I'm Sorry

Pencil: I'm sorry


Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.


I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way, they get hurt, and become smaller / older, and eventually pass on. Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

All my life, I've been the pencil. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have.

Not only parents, sometimes true friends also play the role of ERASER in the life, so always value them. . .


What matters is not the
Altitude but Attitude.

Funny Killer English

Principal to student…” I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette… ? ”

************ ********* ***
Class teacher once said :
” pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!”
************ ********* *** once Hindi teacher said….”I’m going out of the world to America..”
************ ********* ***
“..DON’T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..”
************ ********* ***
don’t. laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..
************ ********* ***
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
” why is fan not oning” (ing form of on)
************ ********* ***
teacher in a furious mood…
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
************ ********* ***
“shhh… quiet… the principal is revolving around college”
************ ********* ***
My manager started like this
“Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids”
************ ********* ***
“I’ll illustrate what i have in my mind” said the professor and erased the board
************ ********* ***
“will u hang that calendar or else I’ll HANG MYSELF”
************ ********* ***
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ,” IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE”
************ ********* ***
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us…
“My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter”
************ ********* ***
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
************ ********* ***
“why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!”
************ ********* ***
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
“I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
************ ********* ***
Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away

Hidden Meanings in Company Talks

1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”
3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the same”
4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done “At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”
6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”
7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later”
8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”
9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”
10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”
11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”
12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”
13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”
14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”
15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”
16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”
17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”