Hidden Meanings in Company Talks

1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”
3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the same”
4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done “At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”
6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”
7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later”
8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”
9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”
10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”
11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”
12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”
13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”
14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”
15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”
16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”
17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”

What to do in Office!!!

If you find it very boring in the office, here are some tips for u!!!!!!!!!

1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.


2. Make blank calls to your Boss.


3. Send mails from lotus notes (outlook) to your internet mail (and immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or your mail?)  and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then  do vice versa....... ...... !!


4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick  someone Else's chair just to irritate him/her.


5. Count your fingers (and  toes if you still get bored).


6. Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions while working and try changing your ex-pressions also.


7.  Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts. (IMPORTANT)


8. Make faces at strangers in office.


9. Have a three and half hour  lunch; it's a big social occasion.


10. Learn to whistle.


11.  Revise last week's newspaper.


12. Hold "How fast my computer boots"  competitions.


13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the  dustbin.


14. Enhance your Literature skills. you can author "1001  innovative ways to waste your day" to help your colleagues


15. Pick up the phone and dial non-existing nos.


16. Have work breaks in between tea.


17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at a time.


18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restore them..Then repeat this process.      (very important)


19. Look at someone & try to imagine  how (s)he might have looked when (s)he was 5 years old.


20. Read jokes and send jokes.


21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a nap.


22. Send this list a e-mail to only one at a time to every one in your contact list.

ENJOY EVERYTHING IN YOUR OFFICE. . .